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Monday, Mar. 23, 2009 : 11:18 pm
complexity at its best.
wow, it's been a while eh? still have just the two kiddos. i am in school STILL, and doing well. i am still amazed that i have my girls. i swear life sure does change and stay stagnant at the same time. i feel like i'll never get to go and have a fun girls night out with out worrying if the children are alright. how i miss the flying off to a concert, or coffee, or a movie, or a dinner date with friends. or having money to do any of the above mentioned items. and yet it seems that they will grow up before my eyes and i'll never get that back. i stare at them constantly, thinking,"how beautiful you are, god's little fast growing star," i could eat them up. i know that is called canibalism, but in some countries, that is the highest respect. i miss spontaneous moments, and am thankful for my steady, dependable life. and my role in it. i only work two shifts a week due to my husbands hard working ass. i only wish he were rich so that i could be the PTA mom that i always wanted to be. that's alright though, soon, (if you call three years soon!!) i'll be a nurse and be able to come home and not worry about having to study and work and do house stuff. many more vacations then buds. i just want to feel appreciated for more than the laundry i do, the meals i cook, and sex i give up. and then i want nothing more to do only those things. funny eh? sound confused do i? i am. lots, but who's not. life is not this easy, no problems, no turmoil kind of deal. how boring that would be. and i'm complex, which keeps the hubby guessing doesn't it? me too. i am different from one moment to the next. as we all are. i'm going to start updating more. course, everytime i update, i say the same fucking thing. sorry for the sailor mouth. but not really. write tomorrow. maybe.
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