my life

Tuesday, Dec. 04, 2001 : 1:11 pm
Stinginess is not all in the world. Its only my mother.

After I wrote my mom an email she said that she (in another reply email) was glad that I had said nevermind on borrowing the money because its always something with us kids. (I think she only means me and my sister because Alex is her perfect boy-favorite child of the pack) and she isn't going to lend anymore money out.

Thats a great philosophy. I know if I made roughly $3500-$4000 a month I would be a SCROOGE TOO!! Stingy ass. She doesn't even have any bills or rent to pay or a car payment even. That's fine, I'll never borrow money from her again. And she tried to tell me that she'd be getting her stuff out of my place as soon as possible because I made her feel unwelcomed whenever we first moved into the apartment (the first night we were there) because she was out late moving stuff and I made her feel unwelcomed. FUCK HER!!

Sorry it was like 11 o'clock whenever she said she was going to need to stay there and I had already been looking forward to me and Justen getting to be alone for once in our OWN place after living with her for 2 or 3 months. So FUCKING SUE ME if I was a bit disappointed. Too Bad. WAAAHHHHH I feel unwelcomed!

Also she had just told me the day before how much she didn't like Justen! And it pissed me off that AFTER saying that she decided to on the day we're moving to ask him to do ALL this stuff. If you don't like him then don't ask him to do shit for you. He feeds her fucking cats when she asks him to and to me that is just damn rude.

So I was mainly pissed about that. Maybe I'll tell her by writing her an email.

Whatever. It doesn't matter. Justen's mom is an angel. His parents should have a golden halo over their house. She just did it. She didn't ask Justen if he wanted her to she just said," How much do you need?" and transferred it to our account. We don't have to pay it back either. And its not the dinky little $150 I was gonna borrow from my mom, its $400.

She has no guilting in her. She doesn't try and make you feel like shit for borrowing anything. I think she's got wings under her clothes. She is the mother I've always wanted. Totally accepting of her kids.

I love her. (Enough of Cathy praise)

I swear though. I am so relieved about not having to struggle our asses off to pay the rent. I was so scared. Because I didn't get shit for the stuff I pawned lastnight which really pisses me off because I didn't have to now. But that's okay.

Honestly. I really want to be like that with Cirrus. When she is older and on her own and she needs my help. Then you know what? Its not my obligation but its my baby, my child, so isn't it in a way my duty to loving her to make it easier on her if I can?

I'm not saying to support her I'm just saying if now and then she and her husband or whatever (girlfriend if that's how it turns out whatever) needs help. Then I am going to help. Especially if I have the means to do so.

I am peeved by her stinginess. (My moms) Its really sad that a person can't help another person out for a few days.

I am not talking about it anylonger I know this is stupid to hold onto it for this long.

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