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Monday, Dec. 03, 2001 : 12:58 pm
depression depths
I am about up to my eyes in self pity and depression. I figure no one else gives a shit so I might as well do it myself. It's pathetic. I called my mom to ask her if I could BORROW $150.00 dollars and she said that money was real tight for her. I'm sorry. I wanted to say. I didn't know making 35 dollars an hour you could be "tight" at any point in time. Not unless you're just a fuckin' tightwad. Its not like she has to give it to me. I would pay her back every penny. and she wouldn't have to get me a birthday or christmas present if she let me borrow the money, but no. Hell I probably won't get one for either birthday or chrstmas. I have gotten really used to not getting anything. I haven't gotten a birthday or christmas present from anyone but my sister for like 2 years. Because I borrowed $300.00 to pay my car payment last year for the birthday and christmas present from my mom. I paid her back though dammit so its not like she gave it to me. Thank you very much. I am going to have to pawn my stereo, I have to pawn my movies, I have to sell what CD's I have that are worth shit, and pawn my ring my mom bought me for my 15th birthday. And I'm getting a part time job at a grocery store. What is really pathetic is that I probably for all that stuff won't get but maybe 100 dollars if I'm LUCKY. But you do what you have to do. BLOWS. and if I am lucky I will get to take off like 2 weeks of work. But then we'd be short like 560 bucks. So I don't know what I am going to do.
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