my life

2001-07-26 : 10:18 a.m.
True Bliss

I was talking to Korak yesterday and she said that she thinks Justen is wrapped around my finger. Which I (God I wish I could put that in bold print)

Anyways, she said that she was talking to Alejandro (my brother) and he said that he thought so too, and then he said, " but what guy could she not do that to. That's my girl!

I don't know what the hell-o they're talking about. I don't see Justen as being anywhere close to being wrapped around my finger. That's ridiculous. Now he definately has me wrapped around his finger. (Enough) I'd do anything for him. I do his laundry, and dishes and I make him sandwiches. GREAT ONES. You really don't understand the art of sandwich making til' you've had mine. and only my friends and loved ones get that privelidge.

I love doing shit for him. Seriously. I get pissed off and I'll tell you different but its only because I'm a bitch when I get mad and I start to go back and think on all the stuff I do for him and I'll tell myself that I am a fuckin' Suzy Homemaker and thats not who I am. But it is. I wasn't before. I didn't enjoy doing anyone elses laundry but mine and rarely even that was a joy. But I like to pair up all his socks and put them perfectly in little balls in his drawer, and I like to fold his T-Shirts and hang up his good shirts and fold his pants perfectly with no creases. I LIKE IT DAMMIT!! Am I total fuckin' nerd or what?

and I get homesick sometimes. I miss living in Austin TX one of the music capitals of the world. I miss being able to go 15 mins. away from my house and going to have coffee with my best friend Sonja until 4 in the morning and talking and laughing and smoking and eating and being silly. I miss being the HORSE!! I DO!!! ( I LOVE YOU SONJA!!) I miss the general feel of being able to drive 15 mins. the opposite way and go see my darling boys. (nephews) and sister and brother. I miss going to every singel fucking springfest/horde fest/101Xfest/ and every other kind of damn fest there is there. I went to each and every damn one. I went when MTV came to Zilker park. I loved it there. and I miss it so much to be able to see my love, my friend Korak. She is my best friend of all time. I have known her for 6 years. I love her dearly. We've had our differences (like when I called her a slut- God I still hate myself for that) It was really hard for me to accept her having other friends that weren't like me. Because it made me feel like she didn't need me as much. and it makes me feel better now, because she needs to have those friends, but I am like her sister. We are forever bonded and cemented and united together. That's why its soo hard for me to be away from her.

and Evelett. I miss her like crazy. I love her too. She used to come over every morning and hang with me til' 12:30 (and sometimes be able to convince me to not go in) when I would leave for work, and come over at 9:30 every night and sit with me in the driveway when I got off. She is also my bestest friend. I could also convince her to take off work when she was supposed to go in. I'd always come up with these great stories or elaborated bizarre reasons why she wasn't able to come in. (I'M THE QUEEN OF GETTING OUT OF WORK!!)

I love them all. all my true friends, and family I need and don't have them to my easy access like I used to. I've lived here since Dec. and I still feel like a visitor. But not a temporary one. I live here but I will always have my home in Austin. Even if I don't "live" there.

I watched PAY IT FORWARD with Helen Hunt, Haley Joel Osmond, and Kevin Spacey my all time favorite actor. and I wanted Justen so bad right then. The whole movie and then he got home and it was true bliss. I WAS BLISSFUL DAMMIT!! I love him, truly.

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