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2001-07-02 : 9:00 a.m.
I hate my life right now.
I hate when Justen thinks that I'm being rude or tells me I said something I know that I didn't say. It infuriates me. Almost in I'd say a nanosecond. It takes everything not to tell him to fuck off. and not because I don't want him around me but because it makes me soo mad when he tells me that I'm doing something I'm NOT doing. He said I'm still being rude like yesterday and blah blah blah. I am not. I called and was just going to say good morning and ask about lunch and about the freak wearing my shit. and he sounded all pissed off about something. Like he thought I only called to tell him about her. Which isn't the only reason I called. And then he told me to hold on and because I sighed heavily or said whatever he thought I was being all rude. ????????? Hello? I don't think so. and he said that I said, " fuckin...." something which i didn't. I remember when I cuss and I didn't cuss. and he got all hot and heated and mad and swore up and down that yes I did. Dude. I am tired of this fighting shit. TIRED OF IT. I love him and hate this stupid petty shit. He wants to have a nice talk and I know that he's going to say and he's going to make me explain why I am being like this lately and whats going on and how can I talk to him so rudely all of a sudden. You know what? Its not all of a sudden I have the ability to talk to him this way and like shit, its just that I'm pregnant. I'm sick of this shit. I don't like having to have an arguement everyday over something stupid so when we do its like, God here we go again. and its dumb. and I get soo mad cause I hate it soo much and I am dreading it with a passion and I hate it and I get mad and I say stuff that I don't mean. Like when I call him an asshole or tell him to shut the fuck up or whatever it is that has slipped out of my mouth in rage and I'm going to have to apologize for it and I didn't mean to say it in the first place. I do get too mad when it happens. I admit that. But don't tell me how I'm being. YOU DON'T KNOW!!! I KNOW HOW I AM ACTING> NOT YOU. Tell me you feel like I sounded rude and I'll apologize if I sounded that way and this is what I meant. Don't tell me how I was being. and then she was wearing my fucking skirt. HELLO!! Stay out of my room!! Justen went to the apartment and he saw molly and steven asleep in my room and he called and told me and they had been smoking in it. I don't smoke anymore reguardless if I smoked 2 cigarettes infront of her she thinks that means I am still smoking. Which I'm not. FUCK HER. and so I called and said to get them out of my room and it better look like it did before. I don't call that a threat. Thats called stay out of my room. Its not even them sleeping in there. I don't care about that. But respect my stuff. Don't slice one of my stickers on my stereo, and don't lie about sleeping in my room and smoking in there when half my incense are gone and the cork isn't in the top of the bottle they're in and then lie about being in there doing anything but listening to the radio. LIARS. and don't take shit out of my room. Justen put a key lock on my door and she said that it was stupid cause if she wanted to steal anything she'd already have done it. Guess she did. She was wearing it this morning. Fuckin' bitch. and now I have to live with her til Aug 31. I hate her. and I hate this. my mom answered my phone and she pressed a button that ended up redialing Kelly's phone and she didn't hang up because my moms not scared of talking to her and didn't want her to think she was. So then Kelly was like how immature blah blah blah. Excuse me? didn't your dad call and bitch out Justen because of you? whos immature. I don't need my mom to do shit I can do it myself, I don't have to have my dad and little brother go looking for someone and kick their ass. You're the juvenile one not me.
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